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daily parcels * tied up in string *

daily musings of a vintage addict * I am totally obsessed with all things vintage * trying to keep up with my past...and sometimes ordinary everyday life

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Location: Culburra Beach , NSW, Australia

I live in Australia, my ancestry is in Cornwall. a Celt. a hedgewitch of sorts. I am an Earth Healer. I wear upcycled clothes, patchouli oil and Redback boots. A gypsy. An eccentric. a mystic. I am a searcher, a seeker, a pilgrim on Earth. I serve my guests, tea from an old silver teapot. I love Vervain, yarrow, chamomile & mint. I love to dream, to walk and to wonder

Plan ahead and dream of all the beautiful things that life has to offer

February 27, 2006

off to the infirmary


on Wednesday - my soul mate - who actually does have a name *Joe* - is off to hospital. He has had really bad pain in his abdomen for awhile now and ultrasound has shown a small hernia - I have told him and told him not to do the heavy lifting but .... so he has to have it mended. And friends I am a little worried. You see, he is my rock and I am sometimes very impatient with him and get frustrated with him too. I am a hard person to live with, believe me and it is even worse since 'the menopause' reared its ugly head. I can sometimes be 'a nasty piece of works' as my grandma would say - and my gorgeous darling soul mate is the brunt of all of this. I love him to death - you know what I mean. He sat by me when I was diagnosed with the cancer and every single day for 5 weeks he came to the cancer clinic for my radiation and then when I had to go have more overnight - he sat at the door, looking in through the glass * no one was allowed near me for 17hours due to radiation exposure. He held my hand as I cried. And how do I repay him? by being impatient - I feel bad. Like when you are cranky with your children and they go off to bed - then you start feeling guilty about being a bad mother, so you vow and declare right there and then that tomorrow you will be nice to them to make up for it. Does anyone know what I am meaning here ? Or am I the only one

21 Comments:

Blogger Flossy said...

Oh Robyn, you are so not the only one who feels this way! Joe will be fine, and you are you. He loves you for just who you are and how you are.
When he is out of hospital, you will be fussing around and making sure he is comfortable and well-looked after, I know. And he knows how much you love him. You show him in so many ways. These are things I just know :)

Hugs to you and love and luck to Joe xx

12:47 pm  
Blogger Alice said...

Sorry to tell you Robyn - you don't have a monopoly on feeling guilty. No, you're just not that unique...lol. We all go through that stage time and again. Even now that my children are grown up I sometimes wonder if all they remember about me is when I was cranky with them. I sure hope it isn't, because I can't do much about it now.

I hope everything goes well with Joe's operation. You can do your penance by being super nice to him during his convalescence.

5:21 pm  
Blogger Maggie Ann said...

Hope your husband's surgery goes really well, and that he will have a speedy recovery. It sounds like you have a gem there!

5:29 pm  
Blogger Amy said...

So sorry Ms Robyn, both him and you are in my prayers and thoughts...hope he is on the up and up now.

5:44 pm  
Blogger Shell said...

You are certainly *not* the only one! I'm sure that we are all guilty of it at one time or another, and more often than not as well. It's just a part of the everyday. Of course you will be there for him and looking after him just like he looked after you, and I'm positive he knows it.

I do know how you feel - I often think myself a whiney piece of work that demands more of her mate than what she deserves. But come to the crunch and I'll defend him with all the strength that is in me. It's all about give and take, sharing and trust and love, you know?

Now, stop beating yourself up about being human and focus those energies on getting your partner well! My thoughts are with you both.

6:55 pm  
Blogger Nicole said...

I definitely know what you mean. I think I feel this way nearly every day... I have my 'guilts' last thing before I fall asleep... in the black of the night, I go over the day, and think how I could have done this and that better. I just know your Joe will fine.. infact he will be better after you have nursed him to recovery ;)
Big boys need to be nursed don't they... whether it be the flu or a hernia... and I don't think we'd have it any other way. I know that no matter how tough we girls are.. when our 'boys' are sick.. butter simply melts in our mouths.

8:30 pm  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

You made my eyes fill up with tears! Illness and healing, loving and faith!
Robyn be easy on yourself, love knows no bounds. It is yours not because you are "good" or "impatient" or "happy" or "raging with menopause." Love is there trusting and believing. You have it with Joe, and you share it with many of us cyber friends!
My prayers are for you and Joe today.

9:30 pm  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Gosh you hit the proverbial nail on the head time after time, Ms Robyn! Don't all us girls go through this with the one we love the most??!! I drive Ken nuts sometimes, I can see the way he looks at me, and I think oh God, I'm going to lose him over this...but his Mum always tells me that she sees the way he looks at me when I'm not looking at him, and there is no doubt in her mind how much he loves me. Whatever happens on a day-to-day basis, when the chips are down, we drop everything to be there for our soul mates. Give Joe hugs from all of us here, and you look after yourself too.

11:17 pm  
Blogger herhimnbryn said...

It's all a journey, you travel together. Up steep exhausting hills and down into flat beautiful plains. But, holding each other's hand tightly, you reach your destination, together.
All will be well.

11:21 pm  
Blogger Garden girl said...

awww.... good thoughts and postive vibes coming your way for soul mate.
Your not the only one though robyn who is hard to live with, and menopause is just the ghastly icing on the cake as it were..just ask my dh LOL....hope all goes well for soul mate, and I get the feeling he does know how much you do love and care for him!!!

11:26 pm  
Blogger Carol said...

No you are not alone! I second everything the others have said! My Fingers are crossed for Joe that he'll be okay! Hugs to you xox

12:20 am  
Blogger berriehead said...

I'm guilty of that as well ms* don't beat yourself up ok? Prayers for Joe and You...big hugs too:o) xoxo

12:20 am  
Blogger Connie and Rob said...

Robyn,
We are all guilty of have days like this. We always are hardest on the person closest to us. It sounds like he loves you very much. No worries in that department.

All the best to Joe and now you can hold his hand and be there for him. That is what it is all about.

You two sound like a lovely couple.
Take care and hugs to you.
Connie

12:26 am  
Blogger VintagePretty said...

I'll be thinking of you and Joe - I'm sure he'll be fine in no time :-)

Take care hon,

3:50 am  
Blogger Kristy said...

Please don't fret so.You are only feeling this way because you're worried and you're only worried because you care so deeply.We all feel guilty especially when the dreaded hormones rear their ugly heads!You will both be in my thoughts and prayers this week.

5:24 am  
Blogger Shine said...

Praying for ya,
I came over from Amy's blog....
Anyway, I'm the same way, My husband is so good at taking care of me when I have the flu or something and I am just the opposite when he's sick...it's hard, I'm not sure why...but I pray God will change me.

7:30 am  
Blogger Jen and family said...

Hi Im a regular reader of Amy's
I am praying for you and your hubby
may God restore him to his full health and I pray that He comforts you as you face this ordeal together. hugs

8:17 am  
Blogger dolly said...

sending Joe healing thoughts Ms*R

I too am exactly the same as you ~~ I coudln't ask for a betta husband but boy does he get the brunt sometimes, but then isn't that what love is all about? the good with the rough and all that...

I'll be waiting to see how he is doing love dollyx

9:37 am  
Blogger Mindy said...

..been here myself with the guilt also! Many well wishes and prayers for your Joe to have a speedy recovery...hugs to you dear Robyn!!

10:28 am  
Blogger Kali said...

Dear ms*robyn ~ this post and comments has left me all teary eyed!
Through all your ups and downs, you have each other to lean on...none of us are perfect, and I bet that Joe loves you just the way you are!
We all get the guilts, especially most Mothers, but when it's all said and done, or husband and children love us for us.
Best wishes to your darling for tomorrow...he will be in my prayers, as will you dear friend. xooox.

1:45 pm  
Blogger HomemakerAng said...

OF COURSE I AM LIKE THAT AND YOU ARE NOT the only one! I do this alot and I HATE IT! I mean to show love and it comes out as grrrr. Dont beat yourself up, just tell him how much you love him and care, he knows you enough by now to understand. I sure hope things get back to normal and he is out of pain REAL SOON!
xox
homemakerang

2:12 pm  

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