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daily parcels * tied up in string *

daily musings of a vintage addict * I am totally obsessed with all things vintage * trying to keep up with my past...and sometimes ordinary everyday life

My Photo
Location: Katoomba, NSW, Australia

here I am in a little cottage that evokes the energies of my ancestral lands - a cottage on the moors of Cornwall, or on the cliff tops of Ireland or Scotland. It has a hearth. I am a hedge witch {of sorts}. I wear upcycled clothes, patchouli oil and Redback boots. I am a gypsy; an eccentric and a mystic [I often live with a foot in two worlds]. I serve my guests, tea from an old silver teapot. I love Vervain, yarrow, chamomile & mint. Star watcher and Moon gazer. story cloth weaver. keeper of family dreams and wishes. good friend and creator of life. herbal tea drinker and potion maker.

Plan ahead and dream of all the beautiful things that life has to offer

June 14, 2006

I am not a tough cookie - words from my heart

oh dear

you know what? I am not a tough cookie, I don't have a hard shell. I am lost, really I am. I visit blogs and know that alot of my friends have worries, just like I have but you have all been here for me, while I wallow in my self pity. yes, I know you will say I am being hard on myself, but bear with me.
I have lost many friends in the past few weeks over my spiritual beliefs. and it hurts, it really does. I can't help being like this. I don't seem to fit into a category anymore. Friends that would comment don't visit. that hurts - is it vanity?
But what do I do? beg people to like me? change my beliefs? I know I continually post about this (and I am not looking for sympathy or kudos) but I am no closer to an answer than I was when it first started. I know I have said this before and only stay away for a minute before the chatter gets the better of me
but friends ~ I am so close to giving up & leaving daily parcels for-ever.........maybe start over somewhere else.


Blogger Kali said...

I have no answers or the right words to offer. But I would like to say that it makes me very sad to know that you are hurting :(

10:11 pm  
Blogger Peggy said...

I wish I had a magic wand to take away your hurt. Robyn you will never be able to please everyone. If you want to write a blog thats purpose is to please others and not be true to your thoughts and beliefs then maybe you should stop blogging. If you want your blog to be YOUR BLOG with your true thoughts and beliefs then you are going to have to accept the loss of those "friends" and keep posting for yourself and allowing those of us who enjoy your posts to keep visiting. I was raised that friendship is not taken lightly. You don't give it unless you intend for it to be a lifetime commitment. Even if a friend does something wrong, breaks to the law, or hurts you. You may not like, understand or accept what they do but you love them and enjoy sharing the parts of them you do like. There isn't anything about you I don't like or admire but if those other "friends" stopped stopping by then Robyn they weren't friends to start with. Don't worry over the ones that have left. Enjoy and share with the friends that are here and love you. Sorry this is long.

10:21 pm  
Blogger mrspao said...

I like you. Hug. Peggy is right. It is your blog and no one elses.

10:35 pm  
Blogger berriehead said...

Sorry ms...no sugar coating as much as I would like to...the truth is YOU have to quit caring if Everyone likes you or not...peggy is right when she says the ones that still post here are your friends and like you for who you truly are...and in life that is how it is... let the others go.. once and for all and be done with it. xo

11:03 pm  
Blogger Garden girl said...

I have noticed that people com ena dgo from my blog and other blogs I read too. I dont know if they get tired of what they read or just need a change? sorry cant offer any real ideas.... I still read here....soemtimes just dont have time to leave a comment. Dont give up robyn! keep writing!!

11:24 pm  
Blogger HomemakerAng said...

ms robyn, I have been concerned about you... I can feel your pain through your writing. I feel for you... I will be praying for you today... xoxox Go with your guts but find help if you need it. I am not condeming you at all, i care about you... take a break from your prayers to the saints and ask for God's wisdom and hands today to help you and hug you right where you are at...

11:40 pm  
Blogger VintagePretty said...

The only bit of advice I can give to you is to find acceptance within yourself, whatever your beliefs may be, as long as you're happy believing them, who cares? Ignore what others have to say and keep posting about what you want to post about. Religion is a unique thing to each person, it can take any form, and can affect people differently. Don't take what they say to heart. Be happy being you!

12:44 am  
Blogger Gina E. said...

You mention elsewhere that you will be in Melbourne in a few weeks. How about we meet up somewhere and go and get plastered? That'll take your mind off your problems - LOL!

1:48 am  
Blogger gena said...

Hear,hear Peggy! you worry too much Robyn,there is nothing wrong with your beliefs,you and i have discussed this weird and wonderful spiritual path before,it is what it is,and we are who we are,the bottom line is we do what we feel is right in our hearts,regardless of what others may think,I do hope you dont decide to stop blogging,I love to read your posts,you are great fun,with a deep sense of loyalty and a very caring nature,but do what feels right my friend,we are all behind you xx

2:23 am  
Blogger gena said...

No you are nota tough cookie,you are the most warm,funny,caring and sensitive woman that we have all come to know and love,take no notice of those who question your beliefs,I dont understand them,this is your spiritual journey,embrace it and dont let anybody spoil it for you.xx

2:28 am  
Blogger JerseyTjej said...

Ms. Robyn
I come to your blog to get away from the harshness and or commonness that is so prevalent in cyberspace. I WISH I could be half as kind and generous as you are...PLEASE know that there are several things that make you who you are...Expouse what you wish. This is your place to do it...( I will be quite upset if the roses and old photos should disapear, but other than that...you can tapdance naked under the Opera house for all I know...LOL!

2:51 am  
Blogger Daisy Lupin said...

Your blog is your own, you are allowed to be yourself on it, if some people don't like some of your beliefs etc there are two things they can do, one, realise that you can't agree with someone about everything and keep commenting, without arguing about things with you, or two, stop commenting, there are always other friends to be made. No one can agree with friends about everything it is not human nature, we have to be big enough to accept different people believe different things but that should not make them any less of a kind and caring person to us. Yours was one of the blogs that first got me started blogging, and you suggested I contact some of the blogs in the sidebar and I have never looked back. I am horrified to think people may have sent you nasty comments and if they have they are people you need to lose. Chin up and keep on trucking.

3:09 am  
Blogger Lina said...

I don't think I have commented before, but I've been reading your blog for a while (and even went through all the archives) and I really enjoy it. Please, don't stop and go away. I would really miss reading your posts. I don't know if I can say that will truly comfort you, but you seem like a wonderful person and should be proud of yourself for daring to be who you truly are, even if you're not always sure of what it is, and act as you feel it right for you. I'm sorry to hear some of your friends have problems with that, but you shouldn't attempt to change just to please them.

4:38 am  
Blogger Leanne said...

I just can't find anything to say that hasn't already been said, my dear! Just know that you have a friend here, and anytime you need a shoulder you just let me know. Be true to yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Perhaps you are just coming into a new season of friendship with yourself. I think we all need to be friends with ourselves before we can be a good friend to another, and you may be re-evaluating your relationship within you. I sense it's an inner struggle that you need to work through, to find what it is you are looking for in your soul. And I know a lot of it has to do with the upcoming appt as well... wherever your journey through this life is taking you, know that I'll always be here to listen, to laugh with you, and even shed a tear at times with you. You are always in my prayers, and I sincerely hope that you can find joy and happiness and calm again my friend!

6:24 am  
Blogger Rosa said...

Robyn: You cannot change who you are. You are you and those who care for you are still here. The others were never friends in the first place. True friendship doesn't end that way. I can bet you a million dollars that those idiotic souls still come and read your blog even though they don't leave messages (unless it's the true insecure freaks that leave nasty ones without a name--they are the ones who should toss and turn at night, not you. God will catch up with them one day). Just remember, you are not here in this bloging community to please anyone. If writing makes you unhappy, like Peggy said, you should by all means stop. This is such a silly thing to make one unhappy. You have a lot more in your life to think about than being unhappy about blogging. Do what makes you feel good. We (even the ones who don't admit it or care to leave comments) care about you--I can't imagine anyone who couldn't, unless they are totally brainwashed by someone who is leading THEM down the wrong path. Please do what's best for you dear sweet Robyn. It hurts to see you hurt, and you are trying so hard not to. Peace.

8:45 am  

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